Social Calling Cards

Tonight I went out to dinner with a group of friends of mine. I could not help but notice that one of the guys from the table across from us kept checking me out. Our eyes would meet, he would smile, I would smile back…then he left I waved goodbye to him. He stopped fully and gave me a full gesticulation that he was leaving the restaurant. I did the unlady like thing and ran up to a glass window where I showed him my social calling card. This is an example of what mine looks like:

Social Calling Card

I have a social calling card that I hand out in case I meet someone I would like to network with in the future and in the event that I meet a cute guy. It looks professional, clean, and very organized.

Nothing makes you stand out more when you have a calling card. I do not like writing my number on napkins or pieces of scrap paper because sometimes these get thrown away on accident and/or look sloppy at times.

I started using a calling card when I first started handing out my number. Sometimes you see a cute guy and I hate scribbling down my info on napkins. I tried using post-its, note cards, and at one point I used a card from a deck of cards. Using a deck of cards as a calling card was a great idea. I gave a guy the card, an 10 of Hearts. He was pretty excited and he kept it in his wallet.

Eventually, I heard from mutual friends that he would show people the card I gave to him. He thought I was calling him a perfect 10. It was a great and fabulous idea…but I did not want to continue using a deck of cards.

Vistaprint.com offers greats business cards that you can use as social calling cards. I paid $20 for a pack of 50. I also purchased an id case for ‘wow’ purposes.

Some information to think about putting on your social calling card:

* Name

*Number

*Email to contact you at

Some Social Cards I have seen list facebook, twitter, and/or other websites in case you are showing off a portfolio.

Note: I would only get it one-sided. Keep the other side blank in case you want to write a message.

Have fun with this. Hopefully this inspires you to get a social calling card.

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I Need Space Please.

I’ve been blogging about my friend Aaron and how he is ridiculously amazing. I thought I could handle being friends with Aaron, but in less than 24 hours, I crumbled.

I kept thinking about how wonderful he was. I tried listing his bad qualities and I only ended up with two things on his bad qualities. I could not help myself. I did everything I could….surprisingly, he talked to me on AIM last night. He told me he had been going through a rough time since he broke up with his ex. He was confused yet knew what direction he needed to go. Then he started telling me what  kinds of girls he was into and proceeded to talk to me about porn. He even wanted to show me a picture on facebook of a girl he found attractive. I could not handle it anymore. I told him I had to sign off.

::sigh:: thats where I knew that I stood as his friend and forever his friend. I cringed at the thought of being stuck in the friend zone. I cringed at the thought of him with another girl. I eventually cried because I hated that my friends told me “he might like you.” I hate it when my hopeless romantic side takes over my realistic side.

No matter how much I thought about holding his hand or sharing an evening with him, my mind kept telling me ” its not going to work. EVER”

Cowardly enough, I asked my friend Jacob to tell Aaron that I needed space. I do not think I conveyed the message correctly to my friend, but this is how it went:

Jacob (12:30:11 AM):ok theres no subtle way to say this

Aaron (12:30:26 AM):O__O

Jacob (12:30:32 AM):and tis about phoenix

Aaron (12:30:37 AM):=X

Aaron (12:30:49 AM):i freaked her out didn’t i

Jacob (12:31:05 AM):i dont know about that

Aaron (12:31:08 AM):eh?

Jacob (12:31:13 AM):it just the way she descibed it

Aaron (12:31:22 AM):i wanted to show her the pic i showed u

Jacob (12:31:37 AM):is that she’s well in need from space from you

Aaron (12:31:43 AM):O_O

Aaron (12:31:44 AM):eh?

Jacob (12:31:47 AM):but she’s to proud or ashamed to say anything to you

Aaron (12:31:54 AM):ouuuu =X

Aaron (12:32:24 AM):i thought she got upset about the porno talk i had with her =X

Aaron (12:32:25 AM):okey

Aaron (12:32:28 AM):space it is

I eventually talked about it with my family. They told me that I needed to do what was best for me. That having Aaron confiding in me as a friend was not helping me. Instead, it was weakening me and giving me unrealistic hope. I don’t want that.I felt bad closing the door on Aaron. He truly is a good guy. I’m not ready to be his friend.

The sad part of all of this: I think I’m turning into a bitter person because of my experiences with men. It makes me feel sad. It makes me think that there is no such thing as a great guy, the one, or even a soul mate. It makes me think that you can’t wait for a guy to make a move. It makes me think that sometimes you do have to settle, even though you do not like what you have. or Maybe its because I’m tired of having my heartbroken.

I feel my heart closing. My friends told me to keep an open mind and to know that life is full of taking risks. IN reality, I’m so tired of taking risks. I’m tired of putting my heart and feelings on the line. It makes me not want ot try. So what do I do now?

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A Non-Date/Hangout with Aaron

I find friend zone situations always difficult to manage. Why? There is a theory that men and women can have a friendship with no sexual or relationship innuendos. However, its always difficult to put this theory aside when in fact, you have feelings for the other person. In my case, I find my cute friend Aaron very attractive.

I went out on a non-date with Aaron, a friend of mine who has put me into the friend zone. Aaron is a wonderful guy: cares about his family (especially his mom), responsible, and will cut to the chase. He does not like drama and wants to find his soul mate in life. He’s ideally the perfect guy for me, but Aaron has made it clear to me that he only sees me as a friend. I had tried detaching myself everyway possible from him, but my friends told me to give him a chance to see if there was a possibility we could just be friends and to find a way to co-exist with my feelings. After attempting to delete him on facebook, he added me again. After blocking him, he called me.

Yesterday, Aaron called me and asked me to hang out with a group of friends. I was the only one that fell through. Aaron commented about how I always fall through and commit with my plans.  I guess you can say that he knows he can rely on me. We reminisced of old times, updated each other on what we were doing in life, and what our current paths were headed. Aaron did check out girls in front of me and did bother me from time to time.

Things were put into perspective for me tonight.

1) I should not put my life on hold for a guy. If he does not dig me, then he does not. Its time to move on.

2) Its hard to be friends with a guy you used to like. Those feelings of being rejected and being in pain do come back to haunt us….but they come back as fear for the future and as a life lesson.

3) If you can be around someone that broke your heart, that’s one less thing that won’t kill you.

Things may not have worked out, but we can still be friends.

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I am infatuated with my close friend

and I do not know what to do. He’s the most ideal and perfect guy you would ever meet. He does not judge and he is a momma’s boy. He cares about his family and often goes up north to see his sick grandmother.

He has a plan with his life. He gives chances to his friends who take him for granted. He can cook and he has the most interesting sense of humor that will turn a frown upside down. He has a romantic side and searches for his soul mate. Although he’s been through a lot, he sees the optimistic and bigger picture of things. He’s my close friend. I care about him.

I wish i could be with him, but I can not. My girlfriends have been telling me to give it a chance, but I simply can not. A year ago, I told him how I felt. I got rejected. This year he has been talking to me again. He’s single, looking for a girlfriend, and has a lust for life. As much as it pains me to, I have decided to stop talking to him.

Clearly I want to be more than friends, but I don’t think I can risk heartache again. It hurts to hear his voice. It hurts to see him smile. It hurts just seeing a photo of him. I have this photo of us when we pretended to be going out and I wish it was true. My tears slowly fall as evidence that I have to let go of something amazing. Its a sad reality.

My lesson: Sometimes we like others, but they may not reciprocate those feelings back.

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Speed Dating Tips

Has anyone seen “Plain Jane” on Cw? Jona has had a crush on her best friend for two years. Now, with the help of Louise Roem she will be able to tell her best friend how she feels. Throughout the episode, she starts taking risks such as sky diving, being for fashionable, and speed dating. I abolsutely love the speed dating portion. Louise Roe introduces Jona to Steve Ward, CEO of Monster Matchmaker and Relationship Expert, introduces Jona to Speed dating to help her with her people skills. Here are his tips for anyone introduced to the speed dating world:

1) Keep the conversation light. Be casual, flirty, and positive.This is not a job interview.

2) Make Eye Contact

3) Connect with the guy/girl on a social level.

4) Ask Questions, guys/girls like to talk about themselves

5) You want the guy/girl to leave the table knowing that “hey I met a cool girl/guytoday.”

Just watching this episode inspired me to try speed dating. I am going to enroll myself into a speed dating event. Wish me luck.

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What is a Man?

I asked my friend this question.

He told me ” a loyal person who takes pride in taking care of the thing she loves wehtehr its his lady or his car. A man should always to better himself in everyway possible. Ambition is also a must. Some of the greatest known men in history were ambitious.”Wh

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With new GPS dating apps, it’s love the one you’re near

By John D. Sutter, CNN
| Filed under: Innovation

(CNN) — There are many reasons people fall for each other: Personality, looks, humor — sax-playing ability. But a new class of GPS-enabled smartphone apps is trying to bring dating back to the pure, data-driven basics.

Latitude and longitude.

In this new era of app-driven love, location is most important.

Take, for example, the story of Scott Kutcher and Amanda Segal. They started dating in March when, during a Jay-Z concert at Madison Square Garden, Scott pulled out his iPhone, opened an app called Skout and scanned a list of near-by women.

A grid of photos showed women who, at that very moment, were within a certain radius of Scott and his GPS-enabled phone.

And at the top of that list: Amanda, who was at the same show.

“It just so happened she was the closest one and she’s cute,” he said, noting that the app told him she was less than 1,000 feet away.

Scott and Amanda exchanged instant messages through the app. Amanda thought Scott was funny. She also liked the Ninja Turtles hat he wore in his profile picture. So the pair agreed to meet up for coffee after the show, and Amanda brought some of her friends along, just to be safe.

“He could have been a serial killer,” she said. “I lucked out.”

The two are now dating exclusively, and they credit the love-the-one-you’re-near philosophy of Skout with setting them up.

Above all, it was convenient, they said.

“I wasn’t going to go out of my way — at all. I really wasn’t,” Amanda said of her willingness to search out a person to date. “I was like, ‘Oh we’re at the same place, why not discuss the show?'”

While established online dating services like eHarmony and Match.com go to painstaking lengths to match daters based on their exhaustive surveys of likes and dislikes, this new crop of GPS-based dating apps seems fixated largely on two qualities in potential mates: Proximity and convenience.

Apps like Skout, Grindr and StreetSpark let people sort through lists of potential daters based on where they are located at any given moment. All three services list the distance between the person using the app and other member users in feet.

If a person is listed as zero feet away, for instance, you might glance up from your seat at a coffee shop to see that person hanging out across the room. The apps tend not to say exactly where a person is located, and, on Skout and Grindr, you can turn off the location-aware feature if you choose.

Most of the apps rely on instant messaging as a way to break the ice before a real-world conversation takes place.

On these apps, users keep minimal profiles — much less detailed than those you see on Facebook or MySpace. The main bits of information users are given about each other are photos, which are featured prominently, and locations, which usually are listed in the number of feet between you and the person whose profile you’re searching.

While some dating experts express alarm at the idea of people giving out their relative locations to strangers, the trend of GPS-enabled dating appears to be increasing in popularity among young twentysomethings.

Skout, which has become one of the leaders in the space, boasts more than 1 million users, and the average age is somewhere between 24 and 25, said Christian Wiklund, Skout’s founder and CEO.

The idea also has found unique traction in the gay community. A male-only app called Grindr says it has more than 900,000 users in 162 countries.

Joel Simkhai, the 33-year-old CEO and founder of that app, said Grindr users typically range from about 20 to 30. Simkhai said he created the app partly because he was having trouble finding men to hook up with and date.

Grindr has made meeting people faster and easier, he said.

“As humans, I think we value proximity. It’s part of who we are. If somebody’s 200 feet away from you, then go meet them, go say hi for five minutes. There’s no need to have e-mails back and forth, SMS’s back and forth,” he said. “The incentive is just to go meet.”

In effect, Grindr also works as a kind of digital “gaydar,” allowing people who are interested in same-sex relationships to identify each other without the awkwardness of having to ask someone if they’re gay or not.

“It takes a lot of the guesswork out of it,” said Zachary Rosenkoetter, a 22-year-old from Tallahassee, Florida, who met his boyfriend on the app.

All of the location-based dating apps serve as “icebreakers” for conversations that might not happen otherwise, said Wiklund, Skout’s founder.

“I don’t know if it’s ‘lazy,’ per se, but when we designed Skout we really wanted it to be similar to how you meet people in the real world,” he said. “You can engage with people, you can chat, you can wink and flirt and then help out with extra tools.”

Some relationship coaches, however, question whether the GPS dating apps are anything more than a fad.

Many women are unlikely to use such apps because they may feel threatened by notes from strangers who know more or less where they are, said Arthur Malov, a dating coach in New York City.

“I think it can be fun and it can be useful for a few months, and women will use it initially, but the more men there are the more high percentage of creepy guys there will be, and the more percentage of women will be deleting these apps,” he said.

For point of reference, Skout, which launched in the summer of 2009, is about 60 percent male and 40 percent female, according to Wiklund.

The idea that single people would need ways to identify themselves as approachable has an analog precedent, Malov said. In the 1970s, he said, single people wore bracelets to indicate that they were single and open to being approached romantically. But the system felt threatening for women, he said, and was abandoned rather quickly.

In the gay community, a similar system of wearing bandanas to indicate sexual preference also caught on in decades’ past, when people were less open about being gay. That system of identifiers is still used in some cities.

There are some concerns about these new dating apps being used by predators who may have access to a person’s general location.

But Wiklund said those worries are overblown.

“This is really not more dangerous than Match.com, but even on Match.com you need to have common sense,” he said. “If this person wants to meet with you at 4 a.m. in an empty parking lot, maybe you turn down that offer.”

Amanda Segal, the Skout user from the Jay-Z concert, said it’s easy enough to tell if someone using a dating app is a predator or a potential love interest.

“In the IMs, you could really tell right away if somebody was a creep,” she said.

She’s surprised by how much she and Scott have in common. Both attend Hofstra University — Amanda as an undergraduate and Scott in the law school.

“I personally really like talking to strangers — cab drivers and stuff like that, not creepy people,” she said. “So it was like, ‘Oh wow, it’s a random person at this show, too. You can’t figure out who’s single by looking around.”

She added: “I would never have met him any other way, so I’m happy.”

source: http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/innovation/08/06/gps.dating.apps/index.html?cid=mkt_digg_tech

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