Today I had a conversation with one of my fraternity brothers about the reasons why guys and girls are mean to each other after break-ups or rejection.
To the readers: Have you ever noticed that a guy will start ignoring you? That he says mean things to you, not actual mean, but hurtful things. Guys, have you ever noticed a girl brushing you off? That she flat out pretends you do not exist after you two have had history together.
My frat brother and I discussed this. He was telling me about how his ex girlfriend started ignoring him after they broke up. I could tell he was hurt because he felt that he did something wrong to make her cold and distant. Then it hit me, she did not do it because she hated him, she did it because she did it in order to move on.
Another guy friend of mine told me that he will say hurtful things to a girl just so she will stop liking him and move on. I started to recognize a pattern: In order to move on or to stop someone from potentially like you, one must act cold and distant toward the intended person; furthermore to utilize these tactics in an efficient manner to accomplish the task at hand.
On a personal note, I will do this too. if i need to move on, I will ignore and pretend someone does not exist. We, human beings, form emotional attachments to others. When it comes to like/love/infatuation, we start to form that emotional attachment. However, in order to get rid of it, we have to do whatever it takes. Its a defense mechanism that we have programmed into our bodies.
A guy friend of mine brushed me off on Sunday afternoon. I don’t know why. But I thought to myself, maybe he’s doing it to protect himself from further hurt and pain.