Can You Accept Being Friends?

On Friday night after my date, I noticed that a friend of mine had called me the previous day. In all honesty, I have been avoiding this person for the past year because he had broken my heart and I was disappointed. A year ago, I made friends with an awesome guy, Aaron*. When I first met Aaron, he was the boyfriend of one of my really close friends. However, things ended badly between them. In addition, he became my new close friend. During the summer, we hung out and talked more. He invited me into his inner circle. I found myself becoming more and more attracted to him.

However, Aaron had met a girl and asked me to take him to a location to meet up with her. I could not do it. I was very interested in him and I could not bring myself to drive him to meet up with her. I called him letting him know that I could not do it because I was merely attracted to him. I told him, “  I know this is unfair of me but I’m sorry. I can not do it.”

We did not talk for the past year, resulting in some awkward tension. Recently, we have been talking on facebook. On Friday night, we talked and caught up. Aaron is now single and he is looking for a girlfriend, a soul to match his. My feelings for Aaron are coming back and I know that I am not willing to put myself back out there for him. I did it once and got rejected. Our conversation made me miss him, but it always wanted me to stay away from him. I deleted him from Facebook.

Today he facebook friended me and I accepted. My friend tells me that maybe Aaron just wants to be friends again. I told them, “ That’s fine, but I do not know if I can.” I know it’s selfish of me, but at this point in my life, its either we’re friends or we are not friends.

My friend Michael said he would start teaching me how to emotionally detach myself from other people. He says that emotionally detaching yourself eliminates drama and makes one feel happier about themselves and the decisions they are making. My training starts this upcoming Sunday.

My lesson: Sometimes its hard to go back to being friends. Sometimes its either being friends or not being friends. When you become friends, you watch the person you want to be with, be with someone else. Can you accept it?

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About Phoenix

This is a twitter/tumblr collaborative project where a 20something year old female attempts to find events and things to do in SD. Because I am a student, I will try to find things to do on a budget, for free, and/or costly.
This entry was posted in Lessons I've Learned and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Can You Accept Being Friends?

  1. J says:

    how did your lesson go? i’ve got a similar situation. what did you learn about detaching yourself? and how???
    as hard as it may be, you have to think of yourself and protect that heart of yours, no one else is going to do it for you. if that means not being friends with this person, so be it. is it really a friendship if you can’t be yourself because of harbored feelings?
    i’m detaching myself from my situation by reminding myself of that daily. however, i still do value the friendship i have with my friend, and i don’t want to lose it. so my feelings are detached, but not my friendship. does that even make sense?? i guess it does it my mind. good luck to you!

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