I am infatuated with my close friend

and I do not know what to do. He’s the most ideal and perfect guy you would ever meet. He does not judge and he is a momma’s boy. He cares about his family and often goes up north to see his sick grandmother.

He has a plan with his life. He gives chances to his friends who take him for granted. He can cook and he has the most interesting sense of humor that will turn a frown upside down. He has a romantic side and searches for his soul mate. Although he’s been through a lot, he sees the optimistic and bigger picture of things. He’s my close friend. I care about him.

I wish i could be with him, but I can not. My girlfriends have been telling me to give it a chance, but I simply can not. A year ago, I told him how I felt. I got rejected. This year he has been talking to me again. He’s single, looking for a girlfriend, and has a lust for life. As much as it pains me to, I have decided to stop talking to him.

Clearly I want to be more than friends, but I don’t think I can risk heartache again. It hurts to hear his voice. It hurts to see him smile. It hurts just seeing a photo of him. I have this photo of us when we pretended to be going out and I wish it was true. My tears slowly fall as evidence that I have to let go of something amazing. Its a sad reality.

My lesson: Sometimes we like others, but they may not reciprocate those feelings back.

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About Phoenix

This is a twitter/tumblr collaborative project where a 20something year old female attempts to find events and things to do in SD. Because I am a student, I will try to find things to do on a budget, for free, and/or costly.
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